It's my opinion that the best case scenario after an affair is for the two people in the relationship to go their separate ways. If it is the husband who cheated, then I believe that it's best to cut off all contact with the other woman so that no person has any idea how the other is faring. This isn't always what happens though. Sometimes, the other person in the affair CharmDate.com Reviews has a hard time letting go. And this makes it difficult for every one involved. And, it's not always the husband who keeps tabs on the other woman. Sometimes it is the wife.
I might hear from a faithful wife
who says: "I know that it is mostly a mistake to begin a relationship with
the woman who cheated with your husband. This was never my intention to be
honest. Initially, I just wanted to talk to her to get closure. But she wasn't
the ogre that I thought she would be. She had real feelings for my husband. And
she actually is a nice person who is going through a hard time. The problem is
that it appears that she can not let go. I know that it's weird, but she
confides in me. She says that she pulls out photos of my husband and that she
has memories. She says that she knows she needs to turn the corner, but she can
not. She says that she doesn't even want to end her relationship with me, as
silly as this might sound. I know that this isn't the ideal thing, but I feel
like I want to help her move on, CharmDate but how
can I do this when I have my own problems?"
In contrast, you might hear a
husband say: "when I broke things off with the other woman, I was as clear
as I could possibly be. I told her that I didn't want any contact as I needed
to make my wife my priority. She can not seem to accept this. She says she
knows that the affair is wrong but that she just can not turn away from me. She
will send me texts and say that she knows that I'm not going to write back, but
she just needed for me to know that she is thinking about me. She sends me
emails to tell me how much she misses me. I feel badly about this, but my wife
said no contact. How do I make her let go?"
My answer to both husband and wife
in this situation would be the same. You can't "make" her do
anything, especially when it comes CharmDate.com to her
emotions, over which she doesn't have control. She will likely let go once she
has worked through the issues and once enough time has passed. It is the same
for anyone who has been deeply involved in a relationship that ends. Sometimes,
it is difficult. Sometimes, we are slow to let go. But eventually, we do
because we must move on with our lives. Or, we meet someone else. Or we get
tired of feeling so badly all of the time.
Most of us move on at our own pace
and when we are ready. You can not hurry this process for the other woman, but
that does not mean that you have to be involved in it. Frankly, the longer you
encourage any relationship, the harder it is going to be to let go.
The wife could try a conversation
with the other woman like: "you know that you aren't at all what I
expected. I truly do wish you well and I'm very sorry that this happened to all
of us. But I need to focus on my marriage. And I can't fully do that while we
are still in contact. You need to place your focus on yourself and start moving
away from this relationship. You can't fully do that while we are still in
touch. I wish you well but I can't continue on this way."
Hopefully, this will make it clear
to her and she will do exactly as you have asked. If she doesn't, you may need
to block her from your email and phone until it's very clear to her.
I know that this is a hard
situation. And I know that it's painful for all parties. Of course you don't
wish for anyone to feel pain. But you have to focus on yourself also. And, her
moving on is not something that you should worry about more than you worry
about your own issues. You have enough on your plate right now and your focus
should be on your own life.
I would suspect that in time, every
one will move on. But the process is cleaner and quicker if both parties cease
the contact. Yes, this means that you won't know if she has moved on or not.
But that really is how it should be. Keeping in contact just makes it more
difficult on every one involved.
And quite frankly, from all of the
correspondence that I get, I've never had an "other woman" tell me
that years after the fact, she still hasn't moved on. Most people pick up the
pieces eventually. Most people move on eventually simply because they must. I
know that it doesn't seem this way right now. But focus on yourself and on your
own marriage. And let her worry about herself. People are resilient and she
will eventually realize there's nothing in the relationship to keep her there.
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